And the women tug their hair 
Like they're trying to prove it won't fall out 
And all the men are gargoyles 
Dipped long in Irish stout 

The whole place is pickled 
The people are pickles for sure 
And no-one knows if they've done more here 
Than they ever would do in a jar 

This could be Rotterdam or anywhere 
Liverpool or Rome 
'cos Rotterdam is anywhere 
Anywhere alone 
Anywhere alone 

And everyone is blonde 
And everyone is beautiful 
and when blondes and beautiful are multiple 
they become so dull and dutiful 

And when faced with dull and dutiful 
They fire red warning flares 
Battle-Khaki personality 
With red underwear 

This could be Rotterdam or anywhere 
Liverpool or Rome 
'cos Rotterdam is anywhere 
Anywhere alone 
Anywhere alone 

The whole place is pickled 
The people are pickles for sure 
And no-one knows if they've done more here 
Than they ever would do in a jar 

This could be Rotterdam or anywhere 
Liverpool or Rome 
'cos Rotterdam is anywhere 
Anywhere alone 

This could be Rotterdam or anywhere 
Liverpool or Rome 
'cos Rotterdam is anywhere 
Anywhere alone

(Heaton/Rotheray)