Hello Mudda, Hello Fadda
Here I am at Camp Granada
Camp is very entertaining
and they say we'll have some fun when it stops raining

I went hiking with joe spivy
He developed poison ivy
You remember Leonard Skinner
He got ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner

All the counsellers hate the Waiters
and the lake has alligators
and the head coach wants no sissies
so he reads to us from something called Ulyeses
I don't want this, should I scare ya
but my bunk mate has Malaria
you remember Jeffery Hardy
they're about to organise a seaching party

Take me home, o Mudda Fadda
Take me home, I hate Granada
Don't leave me out in the forest
Where I might get eaten by a bear

Take me home, I promise I will not make noise
or mess the house with other boys
Oh please don't make me stay
I've been here one whole day

Dearest Fadda, darling Mudda
How's my precious little Brudda
Let me come home, if you miss me
I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me

Wait a minute, it's stopped hailing
Guys are swimming, Guys are sailing
Playing Baseball, gee that's bedda
Mudda Fadda kindly disregard this letter.