My next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes.
He's a catholic converter.

So I rang up British Telecom, I said "I want to report a nuisance caller",
He said "Not you again"

He said "You remind me of a pepper-pot".
I said "I'll take that as a condiment".

Now did you know all male tennis players are witches,
for example that Goran, even he's a witch.

And I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags.
He's bisatchel.

So I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"
I said "I've been on telly, but I'm no Tom Cruise".

So I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?"
He said "How flexible are you?"
I said "I can't make Tuesdays".