Ah, yes divorce...from
the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
Robin Williams
Women complain about
premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time
of the month that I can be myself.
Roseanne Barr
Women need a reason
to have sex. Men just need a place.
Billy Crystal
You can say any
foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says,
"My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!"
Dave Barry
According to a
new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front
of men than they do undressing in front of other women.
They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just
grateful.
Jay Leno
In the last couple
of weeks I have seen the ads for the Wonder Bra.
Is that really a problem in this country?
Men not paying enough attention to women's breasts?
Jay Leno
We have women in
the military, but they don't put us in the front lines.
They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can.
All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, "You see
the enemy over there?
They say you look fat in those uniforms."
Elayne Boosler
Always be nice
to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest
home.
Phyllis Diller
There's a new medical
crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic
reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling.
So, what's the problem?
Jay Leno
When the sun comes
up, I have morals again.
Elayne Boosler
There's very little
advice in men's magazines.
Men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want
to learn.
Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked."
Jerry Seinfeld
If you can't beat
them, arrange to have them beaten.
George Carlin
Instead of getting
married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a
house.
Lewis Grizzard
Spend it today,
if you don't your kids will.
Jonathan Ross
See, the problem
is that God gives men a brain and a penis,
and only enough blood to run one at a time.
Robin Williams
