A guy walks into a bar with an octopus.
He sits the octopus down on a stool
and tells everyone in the bar that this is a very talented octopus.
He can play any instrument in the world.

He hears everyone in the crowd laughing at him.
So he says he will wager £50 to anyone who has an instrument that the octopus can't play.

A guy walks up with a guitar and sits it beside the octopus.
The octopus starts playing better than Jimi Hendrix. So the man pays his £50.

Another guy walks up with a trumpet.
The octopus plays the trumpet better than Dizzy Gillespie.
So the man pays his £50. A third guy walks up with bagpipes.

The octopus fumbles with them for a minute and puts them down with a confused look.
"Ha", the man says, "can't you play it?"
The octopus looks up at the man and says "Play it?
I'm going to F::k it as soon as I get its pyjamas off."