"No witnesses would admit having seen the mishap until after it happened."

"I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it
if I had thought there was any risk."

"While proceeding through 'Monkey Jungle', the vehicle was enveloped by small fat brown
grinning monkeys. Number three fat brown monkey (with buck teeth) proceeded to swing in
an anticlockwise direction on the radio aerial. Repeated requests to desist were ignored. Approximately 2 minutes and 43 seconds later, small fat brown monkey disappeared
in 'Monkey Jungle' clutching radio aerial."

Q: Do you engage in motorcycling, hunting or any other pastimes of a hazardous nature?
A: Watch the Marty Caine Show and listen to Terry Wogan.

"First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a haggis ran into the rear of second car."

"Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably voodoo."

"The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again."

"We had completed the turn and had just straightened the car when Miss X put her foot down
hard and headed for the ladies' loo."

"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in- law
and headed over the embankment."

"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."

"I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way
causing me to have an accident.

"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck the pedestrian."

"My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle."

"I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."